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Archives 2005

21 December 2005

Intelligent Response

For those of us who have been watching with alarm the recent trend 'Stateside towards the adoption of the 'intelligent design' theory as a counter to the teaching of evolution, a recent court decision in Harrisburg PA is reason to take heart.

A federal judge has ruled that 'intelligent design' cannot be taught or even mentioned in the biology classes of the Dover Area School Board's public schools. Ruling that intelligent design was simply religion in disguise, Judge John E. Jones III barred the theory from science classes on the basis that according to U.S. law, religion cannot be taught in public schools.

For those of us scratching our heads at our American neighbours' swing to the religious right, this is good news. It means that there are still people in the U.S. who care enough about this issue to take action about it, and to prevent this dangerous nonsense from infiltrating their education system.

WIRED magazine has a concise article about this, here

In a nutshell, Intelligent Design states that life on Earth (and everywhere else, presumably) is just so gosh darn complex that it could not have evolved all by itself. Some external force or intelligence must have played a role in the development of life. To me, this is like wearing track pants to the mall or buying lottery tickets instead of RRSPs - it's like waving a white flag and saying "I give up". "Life is just too hard for my brain to understand, so it must have been created by some all-powerful being, who, by the way, takes a keen interest in my life and also in the outcome of of NFL football games." Full stop. No further enquiry or rational thought required.

Let's hope this court victory is a sign of things to come for our American friends.

9 December 2005

Kids These Days

I just wrapped up a semester of teaching web design at the University of Guelph-Humber, and I have to say it was a great gig. A total 180 from my day job with the guvmint, where young, enthusiastic, talented people with career ambitions are not exactly thick on the ground. I may have even managed to teach them a little about web design along the way, so mission accomplished (just picture me in a flight suit now and standing on the deck of an aircraft carrier).

As an example of some of the fine work being done in the class, may I now direct your attention to the site of one William Coleman, who would like to relate his recent experience with...

Hortence, the Ugliest Pumpkin in the World.

Take it away, Bill.

4 December 2005

3 (Would Be) Kings

So here we go with another election. The fools on the hill couldn't find a way to run this country through cooperation or at least some kind of slinky deal-making, so back to the polls we go. The choices:

Liberals: Professional weasels, mainly, but at least they attempt to keep Canada in the 21st century, social policy -wise. Equal rights, inclusiveness, hugs all around. Awww. They've been around long enough, though, so this one might get interesting. The conservatives (and the NDPee-ers) will try to paint them as incompetent, corrupt, free-spending fat cats who don't give a toss for what real God-fearing Canadians really want. Ok, true enough. But they might still win the election and form another minority government.

Blog Spot : Chief Martin Speechwriter and former funnyguy columnist Scott Feschuk is blogging from the campaign trail. Click here to see what he has to say

Conservatives: Repeat after me - "They are the Reform Party of Canada". They can call themselves PCs all they want, but they'll always be the Reform Party to me. This time around Stephen Harper looks a little less like the proverbial deer in the headlights, but this will be a long campaign so we'll see how long it takes him to stick his foot in his mouth.

Blog Spot: an anonymous 'tour staffer' (comfort girl, maybe?) is posting a daily blog from the PC camp. It's all very mysterious. Maybe it's Kim Campbell going undercover! Click here for the Conservative blog.

NDP: They make all the right noises about stuff that Canadians profess to care so much about - the environment, health care, minority rights and all that - so why can't they get themselves elected? They're pussies, that's why. And they can't shake the image of tree-hugging commies who only want to piss away our (higher) taxes on wind farms and lesbian methadone clinics. Jack Layton is running in our riding so a vote for anyone else here is pretty much pissing in the wind. However, since he's the only candidate to send us a Christmas card (so far) he'll probably get the Spacedog vote. Unless Paul Martin sends along a nice bottle of wine or something.

Blog Spot: None! Weak.

An interesting and somewhat disturbing sidebar to all this is that the PCs have hired some American Christian Wunderkind to mobilize the Religious Right in Canada. They think they can tap into some great wellspring of voters who've previously been too busy waiting for the rapture to get out and vote, and who can be cajoled into casting their ballots for the PCs this time around. Well, good luck, I guess. I'm not convinced we have that kind of religious constituency here in Canada but they're free to give it a shot. What they heck, look how swell that all worked out in the 'States with ol' Dubya gettin' elected 2 terms straight. Something the ConservativeReform strategists seemed to have o'erlooked, however, is that here in Canada (at least in the Eastern half) we have just as many religious left as right.

Tune in again sometime around the end of January for an update.

12 November 2005

No Ma'am, You Can't Finish a Marathon

As you may already know by now, it seems that local marathon/social group Jean's Marines are in a spot of trouble over a decision by founder Jean Marmoreo to allow some of her less speedy charges to take a shortcut during this year's Washington Marine Corps Marathon. Not only did they shave an impressive 6 miles from the 26 miles course (in order to avoid missing the 5 hour cutoff at particular bridge along the race route), they collected their finisher's medals at race's end as if nothing out of the oridinary had happened. Incredible, you say? Well wait, there's more.

After some spoilsports kicked up a fuss over the unsanctioned course modification, Marmoreo sent an email to all of her Marines asking that those who took the shortcut give back their medals. Well, duh. However, in her email she says "there are people in the running community who feel some of our runners and walkers did not earn the medals we so proudly wore that Sunday evening". Again I say: Duh. No, you didn't earn those medals, and merely accepting them at the finish line was an act of disrespect to everyone who did complete the full distance.

Race director Rick Nealis puts it best:

"This is an Olympic sport and people lose sight of that. It's not a touchy feely, we're all going to feel good Kumbaya"

Exactly. It's a marathon, not a stitch n bitch, girls. If you want to run, that's great. I've always said that it's likely alot more difficult for someone who is a non-athlete or who might be overweight to run a road race than it is for a more fit person. Good on you if you decide to get off the couch and get healthy. And if you want to run to meet people and socialize that's your business, but a race is a race. And cheating is cheating. If you can't complete the distance within the (very generous) time limit of 7 hours then maybe that's just the way it is. Either face facts and admit the race has defeated you or keep training until you can do it.

I often see the Jean's Marines crowd out running when I'm doing my runs, and I think it's a great idea to give women support to get fit, if that's what they need. It's too bad this bone-headed manoevre by the head marine has tarnished the reputation of an organization that has obvioulsy done alot of people alot of good.

6 November 2005

Dark Riders

The 8th annual Fall Bike Ride Classic was held this past friday. Regular readers will know that this is an ill-advised night-time bike ride through various ravines and suburban Toronto neighbourhoods, fueled as much by the quest for cold pints of beer at ride's end as by a stunning disregard for personal safety. This year's ride featured freakishly warm weather, which was of course welcomed by all. Shorts in November? Yep. It also featured more than the usual number of punctures, albeit mostly for one participant, as well as an unplanned split in the field. After getting separated from the rest of the pack, several riders bravely opted to forego the waterfront leg of the course in favour of the aforementioned pints at the Old Stone Cottage, resulting in some stern looks from FBRC founder and director MG. Well deserved, I'll admit, but 'tis a long night it was already getting late when the mutinous decision was made.

This year's T-shirt design was met with nods of approval all 'round, so I'll take that bow now and show the design here:

Again, a great night. And some nice new 'scenery' (how much can you see in the dark in a bike headlamp beam, after all?) along the way including an adrenaline pumping plunge down Twyn Rivers hill, one of the steepest in the city.

25 October 2005

Octo Cyclo en La Casa! Ay Carumba...

There are now 8, count 'em, 8, bikes in this house. B now rides to work each day and recently realized that her inexpensive grocery-getter was actually a Sherman tank in disguise. More metal in that bike than a Scarborough record collection. So she up and bought a nice new Fuji hybrid, a big step up quality-wise and a big step down weight-wise, which of course makes the daily commute that much easier. And which makes the number of bikes in the house a stunning eight.

Even D, who cares for nothing in this world so much as he cares for his bikes, doesn't have that many. Two are now on the chopping block - good old Winnie (the Peugot) is going to S as a replacement for an aging deathtrap of a machine that he occasionally creaks around on. It's for his own safety, really. His bike looks ready to burst into flames and/or a shower of shrapnel at any minute. Also up for grabs is a nice little Trek 7000 left here by a friend who moved to Winnipeg and didn't want to cart it with him. Too small for either me or B, so out it goes. Too bad.

That leaves B's 2 (Miele et Fuji) and my other 4 (Cervelo, Marinoni, Viner and Ditch Pig). The Pig is showing its age - busted shifter, rusted frame, seized derailleur cables - but every fall it looks like it's on death's door and every spring it's still around, having somehow survived another Toronto winter of slush and salt. This could be its last hurrah, though. I'll coax it through until April and then see how it fared.

18 October 2005

Random Updates

Just some general housecleaning, blogwise.

1. Another new bike. This time the 'new' machine is somewhere around 30 years old, and what a beauty. A Viner from the 70's (exact age unknown until I can track it down via serial number) that rides like a new bike. Vintage Campy components (Nuovo Record, no less), handmade steel frame, tubulars front and back, old Selle Italia saddle and a 3TTT headset & bars. Clocks in at under 20 lbs, which makes it lighter than my Marinoni! All at a bargain price from the Local Bike Shop right around the corner. Like going to a garage sale and finding a Ferrari in the garage... for sale... and then buying it for whatever you had in your pocket. Incredible.

2. Toronto Marathon, 2005 version. In spite of good advice from M, decided to go ahead and run the full marathon on a modicum of training. Bad idea. Hurt, suffering, etc. But did finish in under 4 hours. M and me were ticking along quite nicely for about 25-30k before the wheels fell off. He finished about 3 minutes ahead of me due to several unscheduled walk breaks in the last 5k. I couldn't help it, it's too weird trying to run when you can't feel your feet - the body forces you to stop. Full report on The CarbonMan Report.

10 October 2005

Jon Stewart

Friday nght Jon Stewart was here for a couple of shows at the venerable Massey Hall, one of the best places in this city to see either a musical combo of the rock and/or roll persuasion or, as was the case with Mr. Stewart, a Person of Humour.

Stewart's standup act is in the same vein as Bill Maher, whom we also saw at said auditorium last year, though he relies less thoroughly on the political material than Maher. Lots of great stuff about the U.S. and their oh-so-funny drive for global economic and political hegemony (always good for a few laughs, eh?) plus some other sharp material that I can't repeat here for fear of a lawsuit or a visit from Rob Corddry.

The great thing about a night like this is that it's nice to know that even in the early days of what might be our last century as 'rulers' of this planet, a large crowd of humans can still be entertained by nothing more than ... ideas. No laser light shows, no titties, no car crashes or fistfights. Just ideas. And one very funny story about dog vomit.

27 September 2005

2 Kings

As promised some time ago, may I now humbly present to you, dear readers, the 2 newest additions to the household:

This is Henry,

and this is Richard, as we now call him.

Good boys.

25 September 2005

The Hastings Hilly Hundred (and One)

Even though the race season is over as far as cycling goes, that doesn't mean you can't still sign up for more punishment. Yesterday was the first annual Hastings Hilly Hundred, a one hundred mile ride through the VERY hilly terrain of Hastings county north of Bancroft ON. Billed as the "toughest century ride in Ontario", the 160+ Km course included over 120 climbs. That's right, 120. Without a doubt the hardest ride I have ever done. I won't tell you how long it took M. and me to finish the ride because it's not a race, ok? It's just a ride. Back off. Plus, it was a little longer than advertised.

The morning of the ride coincided with the fall's first true cold snap - temperatures at the 7:30am start of the ride were hovering around the zero (celsius) degree mark. I had some of my cold weather gear with me, but M. was in short sleeves and though largely impervious to cold he was still 'a bit chilly'. It never warmed up all that much, but it was just as well, because that ride on a hot day would have been seriously difficult. It was diabolical as it was, but at the same time spectacular - very quiet roads, mostly, rugged Canadian Shield and hardwood forest terrain and a cloudless sky all added up to a perfect day once the thermometer got above the single digits.

High fives also to the Knowles Family, who rode the (also hilly) 60 & 80k routes, and who graciously allowed us to bunk at their cottage, eat their food and who were generally excellent hosts all 'round. Hopefully they'll have us back next year.

11 September 2005

iMac, Therefore I Am... a Nerd

Finally bought a new computer this weekend, and at long last I have decided to ditch my Windows machine in favour of a lovely new Mac. It's a 20" iMac G5 and so far it pretty much rocks. I've been using a mac for a few years at work now, actually since pre-OS X days, so it's nothing new in that regard. My old PC, a PII 350 for Pete's sake, was (is) getting tired and painfully slow when running anything off my ColdFusion server. So the move was made.

The hard part will be setting up all my contacts, websites, bookmarks etc. But it will be worth it in the end. The old PC is fated to become nothing more than a dumb hard drive where I can keep stuff, but I have to keep it running for a while yet.

8 September 2005

Rain Man

Rode to work in the rain today, which is no big deal when you have the right gear to keep you dry, like a rain-proof jacket and pants. Other riders, however, will often eschew such conventional cycling garb in favour of something a little more creative. This morning I saw the best wet weather getup I've seen in some time. Picture this: Casual slacks, rolled up to the knee to show off black patent leather dress shoes and black socks, dress shirt (tucked in, of course) protected from the rain by a clear plastic dry-cleaning bag that was billowing in the wind like half-inflated weather balloon. To complete the ensemble, a bashed up umbrella held just so, making it nearly impossible to see anything more than about 6 feet in front of the bike. Which may be why he was only riding at about 10 kmh. I wanted to give the guy a medal it was so special.

22 August 2005

Bloggedy Blog

So I started another blog recently over at blogger.com, partly because I'm teaching a web design course this fall at Guelph-Humber and creating a blog is going to be an assignment, and partly just for the hell of it. The blog itself is slated to be a chronical of my preparations and training for next year's IronMan USA, so if you're interested in that stuff please head over to The CarbonMan Report.

And try this - in the top right corner of the page is a link that says "Next Blog >>" Click it and you get someone else's blog at random. Every blog has this link, so clicking it is a bit like pulling the handle on a slot machine. It's addictive. It's like everyone and his/her monkey has a blog now, so you get a weird kind of window into like, society, you know? Some are baffling little commercial enterprises for selling ultra-niche market items, some are in foreign languages, and once in a while you get a gem from a person who is a) interesting and b) knows how to write.

Go and start your own blog, people, it's so easy anyone's monkey could do it. Blogger.com.

9 August 2005

Dear Margaret

Today's Globe and Mail contained yet another in a series of columns by Margaret Wente that are seemingly designed to do nothig other than generate hate mail. Today our Margie crowed about her preference for driving her big-ass SUV to work even though she could, it seems, quite easily take the TTC. The streetcar, no less, so that tells you she lives downtown. I had to write to her. Here's my letter, which I doubt she will bother to reply to.

Dear Margaret - I don't often think of you or your execrable column, but this morning as I cycled to work you were definitely on my mind. As I rode across the Prince Edward Viaduct I couldn't help but notice that the layer of orange-brown crud that settles over this city every morning seemed to be even more dense than usual. A bit like yourself, one might say.

For someone who lives within easy reach of a streetcar to drive an SUV to work each day is an act of such staggering selfishness that I can barely comprehend it. Bad enough that 905ers feel they have the right to drive their pathetic minivans into the city for work each day, at least they have the 'excuse' of poor exurban transit options. But you? Your excuse, as far as I can tell, is that you are nothing but a fat lazy cow who doesn't give a toss about anyone but herself. What was the purpose of your column today? To wallow publically in your own self-centred crapulence? Or simply to fill your inbox with emails from pissed-off readers like me, the better to justify your G&M paycheque? Why you are permitted to continue wasting space in the Globe is beyond me.

[signed...]

PS - I have a car. I choose not to drive to work. Same goes for my wife. I bike, she takes TTC.  Smarten up.

I'll keep you posted if I get a reply.

4 August 2005

Go Away, Or I Shall Taunt You For a Second Time

The following is an excerpt of a conversation that took place on Tuesday, Aug. 2, 2005 between air traffic controllers at Pearson International Airport and pilots looking to land, including Air France Flight 358.

The conversations took place in the moments leading up to the crash landing of Flight 358. The aircraft slid off the end of a runway, coming to rest in a ravine before it burst into flames.

Air Traffic Control: Air France 358 (inaudible) approach 24 left.

AF358: ...24 left.

Air Traffic Control: ...Air France 358 reduce speed now to 160 knots.

AF358: I will reduce to 190 and no more, 358...

Air Traffic Control: Air France 358 slow to your final approach speed.

AF358: Don't tell me what to do, you silly English person! I know how to fly my own plane.

Air Traffic Control: Correct, minimum speed Air France 358...

AF358: Everything is fine here, you stupid busybody. (apparently to copilot) Henri, bring me another bottle of wine! These arrogant Canadian airport persons are making my blood boil! Nothing can possibly go -

Air Traffic Control: ...Air France 358 contact Toronto tower at the (inaudible) frequency 118.35...

Air Traffic Control: ...Air Canada 1105, apparently we've had an aircraft slide off the end of the runway. You will not be landing on runway 24 left. Your approach clearance is cancelled...

AC1105: Air Canada 1105 requesting (inaudible) direct London.

Air Traffic Control: Air Canada 1105, roger. Steer heading 220 degrees now and continue to climb to 6,000...

Air Traffic Control: ...Air Canada 1105, we'd like an expeditious climb through 5,000...

Air Traffic Control: Air Canada 1156, I would suggest you probably want to go to your alternate now, I think the airport is going to be closed for quite a while.

2 August 2005

Money For Nothing

I recently entered (against my own better judgement) an Ontario Public Service -sponsored art exhibition entitled "Ontario Conserves". The theme of the submissions had to be conservation. So I came up with something that I thought fit the bill, as it were; a banknote from the year 2022 that enabled the holder to purchase 5 Gigajoules of energy from the Energy Bank of Ontario. Too cryptic? I didn't think so, but apparently the judges did. My little submission was rejected.

I'll let you be the judge. Here's the note, front and back. To see a more detailed version of each just click.

The show opened last week so I dropped in for a look (it's in my building) and my worst fears were confirmed. I should have submitted a picture of a cute puppy playing under a wind turbine. That's all I'm going to say about it.

26 July 2005

Iron Men

Spent this past weekend in Lake Placid NY lending support to Maurice & Dave, who were competing in IronMan USA. Spectacular course, perfect weather and an incredible event. Both men completed the course (Maurice for his 3rd IM in as many years, Dave for his first) and are good to go for 2006. As is your humble narrator, who will be attempting his first IM next year in Lake Placid. I promise this is the last time I will mention this for at least 6-8 months. Let the training begin.

Whenever I'm in the 'States, I always make a point of cruising the aisles of the local supermarket for stuff you can't get here in Soviet Canuckistan. Local beer and quality painkillers are de rigeur for the Canadian shopper south of the border, as are exotic potato chips and other decadent snack food items. This time I secured something called 'Swoops'. Swoops look just like Pringles potato chips (the most repressed chip ever devised, a chip designed by a snack food control freak) except that they are made entirely of, wait for it, chocolate. Except for the centre, which can be some other chocolate-friendly substance. The ones I bought were peppermint. This is either the most debauched thing ever invented in the name of food or the most brilliant, depending on your point of view. Either way, they are delicious. God bless America.

19 July 2005

Cat House

I haven't felt much like writing in this blog of late, due in part to the illness and then the death of my favourite cat, Pokey. It's hard to believe how attached you can get to a 10 pound ball of fur and attitude, but you can. There's no sense trying to explain it - if you have a cat (or dog too) then you know, if you don't then you don't.

We were going to wait a while to get another one but sometimes plans don't work. In a bid to prevent them from going to the pound, B agreed to take in 2 cats from a friend of hers, who was looking after them on a trial basis for someone else. The trial didn't work out but the original owner didn't want them back, the jerk. Rather than see them shipped off, we took them. So now there are 3 cats in our house. A 6 year-old male named Allister whom we have re-named Big Al, and an 8 month-old unfixed (until today) male who we are calling Henry. Nice boys. Pictures, no doubt, will follow. Lillie is doing a lot of growling right now, but she'll get over it.

25 May 2005

No Order

Lots of fuss lately about a new crop of pop bands, Brit and pseudo-brit, who are paying homage (ie. stealing licks) from either Joy Division or its spawn, New Order. Fine influences to be sure, no argument there. A band could do worse when considering 80's music to rip off, which is why you don't hear alot about new artists who sound 'just like Dexy's Midnight Runners'.

But what about New Order themselves? It's not like they're all spinning in their graves, since the chaps who formed the band were the ones from Joy Division who didn't commit suicide. Not only that, they're still recording! So rather than get your New Order / Joy Division fix second hand, should you go straight to the source? Should you buy the new New Order disc "Waiting for the Siren's Call" instead? Why don't I let the CD cover speak for itself:

It's shite.

Instead, why not listen to how the kids are doing it these days. Here then for your listening and music-buying edification is a brief list of some New Order-esque music being made that is actually worth listening to.

Interpol - Turn on the Bright Lights.

Joy Division meets the doors meets the Velvet Underground. I played this for 3 months straight, almost daily. Buy it now or I will come over there and smack you.

Metric - Old World Underground Where Are You Now?

More pop-y than dark, but still with that Kraftwerkmanlike rhythm section and Eurotrash dancefloor sensibility. Contains some gems.

The Stills - Logic Will Break Your Heart. I thought these guys were just Interpol Lite at first, but I've changed my mind. Infectious angst-pop that borrows heavily from New Order (the good stuff) but still stays true to itself. Almost perfect.

There are others, but these are my picks. You may also want to pick up New Order's previous CD, Get Ready - that one is actually pretty good.

6 May 2005

AKA BBQ

I came home tonite at the end of a long-ish work week to find my neighbours on both sides deeply engaged in the timeless suburban ritual of setting dead animals on fire. So much for a peaceful nosh on the back deck, glassawine in hand. I like living in the city. I don't usually mind that we have a small yard, one that most 905ers would probably laugh at, because the benefits of living close to the heart of Toronto are numerous. The high price for a house, the small property - those are worth it when you consider the reduced commute (no driving to work for this family), the proximity to Culture and City Stuff and a nice sense of community, at least in this little neighbourhood. Sometimes though... a backyard with some size would be good. Good to put some distance between us and the sizzling of unidentified meat. I've put 20+ years between myself and my last steak; it would also be nice to put more than 20 feet between me and the BBQ next door.

26 April 2005

Party On, Dudes

Since it looks like we're headed for another election here in Soviet Canuckistan, it might be wise to take a look at each party's website for some clues as to what they each stand for...

Conservative Party of Canada (aka Republicans of the North)

Liberal Party of Canada (aka Big Spenders)

New Democratic Party of Canada (aka Lefties Inc.)

Let's compare.

More to come...

24 April 2005

MAU@AGO

Today was my turn to take a spin through the Massive Change exhibit at the AGO. Mr. Eno inspired the tour, although I had actually planned to see it all along. It had been given some tepid reviews by local arts columnists, notably in that hotbed of rigorous intellectual thought, the Toronto Star. I was prepared for something lightweight, and I guess it was (kind of) but it was also really engaging and just plain fascinating. The gist is that 'design' is really no longer just about making nice stuff. It's up to us to design our way into the future - we have to re-design the way we live on this planet. What Mau is proposing is a highly urban culture that leaves the hinterlands free for agriculture and energy production. To do that we have to embrace density like never before, and we have to pull out all the stops to make this way of life sustainable over the long term.

An interesting thesis, and one that is unfortunately at odds with a) our overwhelming stupidity as a species (think wars, environmental degradation, loss of biodiversity) and b) our dwindling fossil fuel supplies, which we depend on utterly to sustain our modern energy-intensive way of life. I like the optimism that underlies the various parts of the exhibition, though. Some thought-provoking exhibits here that look at personal transportation, energy generation, and urban life. It almost makes me think we might just pull it off.

Footnote: we even saw Bruce Mau himself autographing a patron's poster in the inevitable post-show gift shop. He disappeared before I could ask him if he'd been at the Eno talk on thursday.

21 April 2005

ENO@AGO

As part of Bruce Mau's Massive Change exhibit currently on at the AGO, a collection of brainy individuals from a number of disciplines are appearing to speak at the gallery. Last night was Brian Eno's turn. I managed to secure 4 seats for myself and 3 friends, and we joined about 500 others in a stark, overheated auditorium to hear what Mr. E. had to say. Advance publication of the event gave no solid clues as to what the talk would be about, but that didn't matter because right away he stated that his original talk (which had been about music, apparently) had been tossed aside. Seems that he had taken a spin through the Massive Change exhibit the night before and had been impressed enough to want to talk about that instead.

He spoke for an hour and a half without notes, an impressive feat. There's no way to even summarize what he said without doing a major disservice to him, so I'll just hit a couple of highlites:

Democracy no longer works. There is now a fundamental disconnect between our elected bodies and the body politic they are supposed to represent, and we need to find some way to allow the 'wisdom of the masses' (his term) to have more influence on national policy. Marking a ballot once every 4 years is not enough. Example: 1.5 million Britons demonstrated against sending British troops to Iraq, that country's largest ever demonstration. Tony Blair ignored them and sent troops anyway.

We live in a 'now' that is too short and a 'here' that is too small. For human beings to continue to live on planet earth in anything like a civilized society, we must shift our perception to include a 'now' that extends far into the future. Brian Eno is involved in the Long Now Foundation, a group that is trying to encourage this kind of thinking. Pushing our ecological and even fiscal problems onto some future 'they' is a path to disaster. Related to this is the idea that we can no longer restrict our perception of 'here' to our immediate neighbourhood, city, territory or whatever. The earth is small and what we do 'here' has palpable effects over 'there'. We've made some progress on this front but it's not a slam-dunk that we'll make this perceptive shift in time to stave off an ecological meltdown.

One of the main points in the talk, and indeed in the Massive Change exhibit, is that it's not all doom and gloom. People are doing amazing things in the world, and our cleverness does not necessarily always lead to self-destruction.

There was much more of course, plus a Q&A session at the end, which was typically uncomfortable as several of the questioners turned out to be either insane or selfish prats interested only in hearing themselves speak. No matter, a post-event pint and chat at the Village Idiot put it all right again.

Related sites of interest:

Art Gallery of Ontario
Global Ideas Bank
Long Now Foundation
Bruce Mau Design
Massive Change
A Talk With Brian Eno

3 April 2005

Ask Me Ask Me Ask Me

Apparently there is going to be a symposium in Manchester this week where academics and other big-brained folk ("I'm not smart, I'm just big-brained") will gather to discuss the cultural impact and significance of ... The Smiths. It's true, here look. Not only that, Morrissey is coming out with a DVD of shows from his wildly successful tour of 2004. As a long-time Smiths/Moz fan, this pleases me no end. Not much music from the 80s has had the staying power of the Smiths - I've always thought (and sometimes even said out loud) that they were the best band of that decade. Hard to believe that at the time I was buying Smiths records my 'rock n roll' mates all scoffed. "What's that shite?" I was once asked when I dropped into the Gasworks to see a friend play. I had Hatful of Hollow and I think PIL's 'Album' under my arm, fresh from a trip to Sam's. Yeah, and Van Halen really sounds fresh now, don't they, rock dudes? "Hah!" I say.

29 March 2005

House Less Crowded

I just read/heard today that Crowded House (and formerly Split Enz) drummer Paul Hester committed suicide on the weekend. It's weird how hearing news like that about someone you don't even know can make you sad. CH were one of my favourite bands in the 80's - B. and I saw them at the Phoenix back when it was called the Diamond and what a great show it was. One of the best club shows I can remember, the band was obviously having a great time and so of course did we. I think we actually saw them again a couple of months later at (shudder) Canada's Wonderland. Still a good show but nowhere near the fun level of the Diamond show. I ran into the band again in the 90's when I was shlepping around the film business. I had dropped in to Partners studios to pick up some gear or something and ran into a friend who happened to be working on the Crowded House video being shot at the time. A quick introduction was arranged which I'm sure was more exciting for me than for them, and that was that.

Go buy their greatest hits collection, Recurring Dream, if you don't have it already - a better collection of inventive and well-crafted pop songs you are unlikely to find.

AP Photo/John Moore, modified by spacedogdesign

23 March 2005

Life & Death in FLA

Time to weigh in on the Terri Schiavo situation in Florida. Since nobody out there really gives a toss what an obscure Canadian blogger thinks about the right to die vs the 'sanctity of life', let me instead just point out a few salient facts about this case:

1. Right wing Christian types who currently favour keeping Ms. Schiavo alive - aren't they also the crowd that supports such other fine American institutions such as Guns For All and the Death Penalty? And a little thing called the Iraq War? Sanctity of life indeed.
   
   
2. If there is a Heaven, as our Christian friends believe, then why not let this woman go there? Why keep her trapped in a wreck of a body with such a cruelly diminished mental capacity? Seems to me that the merciful thing to do would be to allow her to escape the prison she is currently held in, to let her begin her life everlasting. On the other hand, if there is no heaven, no life other than this one, then by all means keep her alive if there be even the slightest chance of a recovery. A story I heard on the radio just this evening points in exactly that direction - a Florida doctor who has had a look at her medical files (though not at the patient herself) says that there is a chance that Ms. Schiavo has been misdiagnosed. She may not be in a 'persistent vegetative state' after all, but may only be in a state of 'diminished consciousness'. If that's the case, then letting her die might be a tragic mistake.
   
   
3. If Ms. Schiavo does indeed die as a result of not having her feeding tube re-re-re-inserted, then she will in fact be completing a mission she began herself prior to the incident that put her in this state. A bulemia sufferer, her eating disorder was the cause of the brain damage she suffered in the first place. Now she's being 'allowed' to starve to death, which at least brings a kind of perverse circularity to the whole thing.
   

So there you go. The totally non-definitive take on the Terri Schiavo case.

12 March 2005

Two Wheels Good, Four Wheels Bad

Some crazy fools ride their bikes all winter long, but saner individuals usually wait until spring to get back in the saddle. With that in mind, may I humbly present the following links to websites of interest to a) Toronto-area bike riders and b) bike-riders in general.

• Community Bicycle Network
• ARC (Advocacy for Respect for Cyclists)
• BikeToronto
• Toronto Bicycling Network

and of course,

• GetOutoftheBikeLane.com

Happy biking .

10 March 2005

Back Off, Farmers

Every time I drive from Ottawa back to Toronto I see the signs. "Back Off Government - This Land is Our Land". It's like the Michigan Militia has started a satellite branch in Lanark Co. Ontario. I always wondered what these grumpy farm-boys were on about, and on wednesday I thought I would finally get the straight dope. A convoy of tractors converged on Queen's Park to stage a big protest in support of the "Rural Revolution". For sure I'd hear what their issue was, I thought.

The day before the big tractor pull, head redneck Randy Hillier appeared on CBC Radio's As it Happens to chat about the whole thing. I listened to the entire piece but I still didn't hear anything concrete - just a lot of vague talk and hand-waving about how the Liberal government was out to get everyone in rural Ontario. Uh huh.

So I checked out their website - http://ruralrevolution.com - to see what I could find. Sports fans, I swear I looked all over their site and I'm still no closer to knowing what specific issues they have with the provincial government. The only thing I found that even comes close to an actual incident involving the province was two locals being charged by the Ministry of Natural Resources with killing some deer out of season. The rest is just vaporware. News releases put out by Mr. Hillier, reprints of editorials from local newspapers, but none of it really saying anything.

If anyone can find anything of substance on their site, please let me know. Otherwise I'm forced to go with the stereotype of the grouchy old tractor drivin' varmint shootin' guvmint hatin' good old boy, and that would label me as nothing more than a smart mouth latté drinking city living college boy. I can't have that. It would interfere with my other reputation as a smart mouth web bloggin' bike ridin' civil servant.

In the meantime, please enjoy this inspiring Soviet-era socialist style image from their website:

Long live the revolution!

2 March 2005

Beef and Rockets

Today our friends the Americans announced that the U.S. border would not be opened to shipments of live Canadian cattle next monday, as previously planned. It seems that they feel that in spite of all scientific evidence to the contrary, our Canadian cows are just too risky - the infinitesimal chance of some Canuck cow carcass being infected with BSE is enough of a reason for them to make us keep our beef on our own side of the border.

Aside from being, pardon the expression, total bullshit, this latest skirmish in our on-again off-again trade war with the 'States strikes me as being an odd bit of symmetry vis a vis our snub of the American missile defense system last week. They agree to keep our non-existent diseased cattle out of their country, and we agree to keep their imaginary missile defence shield out of ours.

It's a match made in heaven.

21 February 2005

RIP HST

"I tell you, my man, this is the American Dream in action! We'd be fools not to ride this strange torpedo all the way out to the end." - Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

For some as yet unknown reason, Hunter S. Thompson, known for riding all sorts of strange torpedos all the way out to all manner of even stranger ends, decided yesterday to end it all. A single blast from a shotgun and the life and career of one of the most original of American writers was over. He was a sort of literary Keith Richards, if only from the drug intake angle - Keef not being known for his prowess with a Smith-Corona. At 67 you have to believe that he had taken his foot off the gas just a little, but just reaching that age seems a kind of miracle in itself. Still, a shock to all of us who read and loved his writing and admired the way he lived his life. I'm sure the truth about why he had to die will come out soon enough.

In the meantime:

• The Hunter S. Thompson Archive on ESPN
• gonzo.org, a fan site.
• Salon.com article from 2003 (worth reading)

"I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." -HST  

18 February 2005

"Have a Nice Day"

That, friends, is the funniest line in the new trailer to the soon (April 29) to be launched Hitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy movie. The trailer makes the movie look like a special effects extravaganza, but with some endearingly cheap-o scenes thrown into the mix too. I plan to see this movie early and often (if it's any good). The pressure is definitely on - bringing H2G2 to the to big screen is an undertaking of the same order as was the Lord of the Rings. A rabid and obsessive fan base will naturally form a built-in audience for the film, but the challenge is to satisfy the fans as well as the newcomers. No easy task. The books are Mostly Brilliant, the radio show is classic, and the tv series though low-budget was still hilarious. I looks like a fair bit of coin has gone into the movie, so let's hope it wasn't wasted.

15 February 2005

Booty Call

As a trend-conscious Toronto native, I have admittedly in the past shunned certain forms of footwear deemed too provincial to grace my fair foot. The skidoo boot, the Kodiak, the venerable Wellington - all of these have I rejected as un-shod-worthy. Oh, how wrong was I.

Owing to a flood of near-Biblical proportions last eve at the homestead, I was forced in desperation to secure a pair of waterproof boots so as to do battle against the encroaching tide of meltwater before it found its way into the basement. Leaving the house/island in the capable hands of B (who already has her own rubber boots) I dashed off to the local Canadian Tire store to locate said boots (and a length of common garden hose to attach to our trusty sump pump, our other two CGHs being filled with ice and completely useless). Returning forthwith, I immediately donned the new boots and splashed my way into the yard.

What a revelation. These boots rock. Not only did I feel invincible in the face of the evil tide, somehow just wearing the boots ('hunting boots' supposedly) made me feel a kind of kinship with my rural brothers. A fast trip to the beer store became an exercise in blue collar cameraderie, as I strode in at 30 seconds to closing time like some kind of All Canadian Colossus. Talk about suburban street cred. I'm thinking of buying a Kenora dinner jacket next, just for trips to the beer store, eh? The only drawback was that they made driving the car a bit of a challenge - giant boots don't fit well into the cockpit of a '94 Altima, especially one with a standard transmission. Not much room for boots, gas, brake and clutch all together. Maybe a nice big pickup truck is the answer...

6 February 2005

Adam & Evolution

Those wacky Americans. There are quite a number of them that just can't accept the notion that, as one Canadian parliamentary wag once put it "The Flintstones is not a documentary". In about 2 years' time if all goes well you'll be able to visit the Creation Museum in Petersburg Kentucky, a museum that aims to set the record straight about the origins of the earth. That would be the Biblical origins, mind you, not the accepted geological (ie. real) origins and age of the planet.

Some of the ideas you'll encounter at the Creation Museum:

• The Bible is true. No doubt about it! Paul explains God's authoritative Word, and everyone who rejects His history-including six-day creation and Noah's Flood-is 'willfully' ignorant.
• Adam and apes share the same birthday. The first man walked with dinosaurs and named them all!
• God's Word is true, or evolution is true. No millions of years. There's no room for compromise.

If that doesn't pique your interest, nothing will. Wow! I can't wait. I just hope the Rapture doesn't happen before the museum opens!

1 February 2005

Crop Failure for Asphalt Farmers

Farmers whose land lies within Southern Ontario's proposed Greenbelt, a huge crescent-shaped swath of territory that will protect the Oak Ridges moraine from destruction by development, are up in arms. Seems they're upset that once their farming days are done they won't be able to sell off their farms to developers for houses. Poor farmers. The mean ol' Ontario guvmint has taken away their God-given right to sell off the health and future of some 6 million Ontarians, so that they can enjoy their retirement in Florida. I guess they've never heard of urban sprawl. I guess they don't care that we've already paved over millions of acres of prime agricultural land, or that the moraine servers as a gigantic water purification filter for the Golden Horseshoe region. A filter that can only work if the moraine is kept asphalt-free.

The Queen's Park crew has said that they have no intention of compensating these farmers/speculators for their "loss", and for once I think they've gotten something exactly right. The Greenbelt plan is a visionary piece of work that will benefit your kids and their kids and their kids and so on way into the future. It puts the brakes on the cancerous growth of exurbia that has been allowed to proceed nearly unchecked since the second world war, and ensures the health and safety of southern Ontario's drinking water in the bargain. If farmers have to keep farming because of this, then I don't see how that's such a bad thing.

30 January 2005

Gentle Reminder

Note to Toronto drivers: even though the calendar says January, some people still like to ride bikes on city streets. This means that you have to check your side mirror for approaching bikes before you open your door. Otherwise you may send someone sprawling onto the road, possibly in the path of a moving vehicle. And that's bad. And if by chanceyou do happen to forget this very important rule and give someone, say, a 40-something caucasian male who should probably know better but who still rides to work every day even in January, the Door Prize, the correct response is to apologize and to inquire as to the well-being of said rider. Please note that the correct response to the above situation in no way involves covering one's mouth and giggling whilst remaining in one's vehicle.

Infer from this what you will, dear reader.

20 January 2005

Family Values

As everyone knows, all non-Evangelical Christians in the United States (and elsewhere, presumably) are nothing but perverts, inverts, and moral degenerates of the worst kind. Never has this been more clear than during this past week, when sharp-eyed folk south o' th' border raised a ruckus over not one but two separate incidents involving the corruption of family values by... cartoons.

First, Fox decided to cover up the bare ass of a character in the Family Guy cartoon in order to avoid the wrath of the FCC, who have been coming down on perceived violations of some moral code or other. Think about that - they blurred the butt of a cartoon character. Let that sink in, and then ponder the sad story of poor Spongebob Squarepants. Apparently SBSP is a big homo who wants nothing more than to preach the immoral lifestyle of all those evil liberal sodomites to American schoolchildren. Christian Conservative groups have issued a gay alert warning (no word on what colour that alert would be. Pink, maybe) over a children's video starring SpongeBob SquarePants and other cartoon characters. Seriously. Read about it here.

" The video is a remake of the 1979 hit song "We Are Family" using the voices and images of SpongeBob, Barney, Winnie the Pooh, Bob the Builder, the Rugrats and other TV cartoon characters. "

Winnie the Pooh is gay? Wow. Ok, he's a little bit mild mannered, but I never would have guessed. Those other guys, though, for sure. Barney? Gay. The Rugrats? Also gay. Bob the Builder? Never heard of him, but come on. Totally gay.

The youth of America should get down on their knees (that's right) and thank James Dobson (founder of Focus on the Family) for saving them from this depravity.

14 January 2005

It Runs in the Family

You've no doubt heard by now that dashing young Prince Harry is being upbraided for his less than splendid taste in formal wear. It's hardly an isolated incident, however. It seems the lad can't help it - he's got the stupidity gene from his Ma and the racist gene from his Pa's side of the family. To wit: the following is a far from comprehensive rundown of shockingly innapropriate shenanigans and/or statements made by elder Royal Prince Philip.

• On a trip to China in the 1980s, he warned British students: "You'll get slitty eyes if you stay too long." (which is why they gave Hong Kong back, I supppose)
• In 1999, while on a tour of a company near Edinburgh, Scotland, he saw a poorly wired fuse box. "It looks as though it was put in by an Indian," he remarked. (the British Raj period in India, of course, being nothing more than a well-intentioned effort to clear up that country's shockingly inadequate electrical wiring)
• While touring Australia in 2002, the prince asked an Aborigine whether they still threw spears at each other. (or had they switched to throwing them at ignorant white people instead?)
• In 2001, Philip told a 13-year-old boy whose ambition was to go into space that he was too fat to be an astronaut. (but not too fat to get a horsey ride on a Prince's lap... )
• During a visit to Oban in Scotland in 1995 he asked a driving instructor: "How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the (driving) test?" (and do they still throw spears at one another?)
• In 1993, Philip told a Briton he met in Hungary: "You can't have been here that long -- you haven't got a pot belly." (See? Now here, look - THIS is a pot belly)

All in all, it seems like such an overreaction. He's simply showing his mother's penchant for fashion. There's nothing that says 'fashion victim' like a full kit of Nazi regalia, I always say.

13 January 2005

Unleash the Hounds

This upcoming summer of 2005, five smart young whippersnappers who also happen to be chiropractic students will be cycling their way across this great nation we call Canada. They've named their Big Adventure 'Unleash Your Potential', and they'll be stopping (of course) all along the route from Victoria to St. John's to talk to people about "lifelong healthy living through proper nutrition, exercise and stress management" among other things.

They're looking for sponsors, they're looking for donations, and they would love you to visit their website. Full disclosure here: I built their site for them. But still, hats off to them. This is a very ambitious undertaking.

Here's the site >>

1 January 2005

2004

First, a list of the Important Things in the 2004 Spacedog Universe.

In other news,

So Long Old Smokey : There was once a time in this town when you could purchase a freshly baked donut at Tim Hortons. You could take that lovely cake-like toroid back to your car, along with your piping hot coffee, and you could bite right into it and taste... cigarettes. That's right, smokes. Tabakka. Even though you had actually purchased, say, a double chocolate dip, there would still be that unmistakable essence of DuMaurier baked right into the donut. Ah, those were the days. It was one of the most unique culinary experiences you could hope for, and it was only a buck fifty.

Those days are gone, now, my friends. Since the City of Tronna brought the No Smoking Hammer down in aught four, the Players Light Chocolate Cruller has gone the way of the dodo, the carrier pigeon and the local film industry. South. This is of course a very good thing. Local pubs (and donut shops) have been blessedy transformed from seething cauldrons of poisonous blue smoke into places where you can have a pint and a chat with a mate without inhaling half a pack of someone else's addiction. Hooray! It's beautiful. Let the smokers cry all they want - they can stand outside until doomsday for all I care. Although I wish now we could pass a bylaw preventing them from smoking within 10 metres of any doorway.

God Hates Fags : 2004 will be remembered by many as the year the gay marriage debate really took off. Bible belters really got themselves into a righteous lather over this one, claiming that because Bob & Bob in Toronto could now tie the matrimonial knot it would somehow sully their own blessed unions. What bollocks. Their entire argument smells like xenophobia to me, and it reminds me of a semi-famous photo from the Deep South from some years back. In it some rednecks had gathered to harass some gay guy (a teacher? I don't remember) and at least one was holding a placard that read "God Hates Fags". Steven Harper and his right wing fan base might as well be waving that very placard, their message is so clear. Gay marriage, like it or not, is a fait accompli in Canada. Get over it.

Welcome to Cyberspace : This year my dad took the plunge into the internet and computers by buying a Mac (!) and signing up with an ISP. This from a man whose most recent foray into computerdom was the installation of a mainframe box at his place of work back in about 1981. I can remember playing Yahtzee on it at lunch, which was all very exciting at the time. The eMac he has now likely has about 1,000 times the computing power of that mainframe, and actually is a far superior machine to the Windows clunker I use to keep this site going. Not bad for 75 years old, eh? Say hello if you like, he's at edmac at start dot ca.

2 Rights Would Have Been Wrong : Even though our friends south of the border somehow thought it best to re-elect (sorry, elect) a man whom many are calling the worst president in the history of the United States, we here in Canuckistan decided that a swing to the right would not be in our best interests, politcally speaking. And so Stephen Harper and his band of merry rednecks did not assume the levers of power, as some were predicting might happen. Good thing too. If the Regressive Conservatives had won, we'd have American missiles in Canada, Canadian soldiers in Iraq, and the rest of the world calling us toadies and worse. Paul Martin may be boring, but at least he's no knee-jerk Yankee butt-sniffer.

Entertainment Roundup : As always, a highly biased and largely irrelevant look at the music and books that I thought noteworthy for the year just past.

Readin'

• John Stewart & the Daily Show Gang - America, the Book. One of the funniest books ever written, the kind of book we've all been waiting for since that Gutenberg fellow built his press thingy.
• Neal Stephenson - Quicksilver. Ok, I give up. Two years later and I still can't get into it. I met someone recently who had finished it (and was reading the 3rd in the series) and I asked, incredulously, how she had done it. "I skipped a bunch of stuff" said she. Now why didn't I think of that?
• Douglas Adams - Last Chance to See. Not only was Adams a brilliantly funny author, he was also a dedicated ecologist and naturalist. This book is his tour of remote and humid places to see species that are really really endangered. It's also pretty funny.
• Lance Armstrong - Every Second Counts. I read this one expecting more bike stories interspersed with the cancer survivor stuff but it turned out to be the other way 'round. No disrespect to Armstrong, but his first book was a better read. I guess I'm not really his primary audience for this one. Thankfully.
• Erik Larson - The Devil in the White City. The intertwining stories of the 1893 Chicago World's Fair and the mass murderer H.H. Holmes, who butchered dozens of people in his specially designed home during the fair. Chilling and well-written, and all true.
• Rohinton Mistry - A Fine Balance. A splendid tale of poverty, cruelty, loss and misery set in India in the 1970s. Beautifully written, but man, it's sad.
• Tom Harpur - The Pagan Christ. It's been interesting to follow Harpur's evolution in thought over the years, and with this book he essentially turns his back on the popular notion of who and what Jesus was. In that, he joins a long line of serious religious thinkers that stretches back more than 1,000 years. The gist: JC was not a real guy, and the Passion story and all the miracles were actually mythical narratives borrowed from many previous cultures. That's a terrible over-simplification of the ideas in the book, sorry. I found it convincing and I daresay enlightening. Puts Mel Gibson's Jesus snuff film into some harsh perspective, too.

Listenin'

• Interpol - Antics and Turn On the Bright Lights. Well dressed and sounding like the offspring of Joy Division and Television, this band is one of only 2 indie bands that I thought made the grade this year. The other?
• Guided By Voices - Half Smiles of the Decomposed. Not their strongest ever, but still head and shoulders above 99/100 bands on this musical wasteland of a pop planet. Too bad it's their swan song, and too badder that they didn't tour up here for their farewell.
• Bjork - Medulla. She crossed the line for me on this one. I find her fascinating, normally, but Medulla is just too weird, too experimental, and not musical enough for my taste. Hats off to her though, for pushing the boundaries once again.
• Feist - Let it Die. Beautiful, understated, elegant songs from Canadian chanteuse Leslie Feist, now living in Paris. One of the best of the year, for sure.

Best wishes to everyone for 2005, and don't forget to donate some money to the tsunami relief effort. The Red Cross is a good place to start.

All right sports fans, as I said at the top of the page, that's a wrap. Best of everything to everyone in 2004.