biography
Abandoned by my wealthy biological parents, I was raised from infancy by ether-addicted ESL teachers and grew up calling an abandoned 40 foot truck trailer in a north Toronto industrial park home sweet home.
Eschewing the sub-standard offerings of the local public schools, my parents instead opted for their own peculiar brand of home schooling: an almost constant stream of cable access television, college radio, and Hungarian language tapes.
Naturally, I gravitated towards web design.
The folks were concerned (they wanted me to go to med school), but as soon as the world wide web was invented, my future was assured.
My first site, a game but primitive effort for a local fishmonger, was short-lived. Ubuyfish.com was a fabulous commercial success until municipal authorities shut it down, citing several violations of local shipping bylaws. Something about transporting aquatic product across county lines without a license. In actual fact we were shut down by the local fish syndicate, a powerful underground organization who took a dim view of our competitive venture.
Having learned a valuable lesson, I set out to create a site that the suits could not assail. The goal: a site that could generate revenue without selling any product. And so, mafia.org was born.
The concept was simple, elegant, audacious: visitors to the site had to pay to leave, or the organization would send someone around to break their legs. Once surfers found out we were serious, compliance rates soared and the money poured in. Our IPO netted us a cool 120 mil before the stock crashed and we were de-listed. It was a heady six weeks.
Naturally I never saw a cent.
In fact, in order to pay off my Syndicate debts (don't ask, I'm still not sure how I ended up owing money) I am now forced to prostitute my design services for mere financial gain, base cash, filthy lucre, instead of being free to ply my trade for the sheer love of pure design. What a world.
